10 Ways Hollywood Says ‘I Love You’

Fresh off of a beautiful wedding, I felt inspired to write a love themed post. Love is one of life’s most spectacular gifts and words are just one of the many ways we can manifest that love. We see it in music lyrics, poetry, literature and of course, film.  Love often can’t be contained by words which is why I love the idea of using unique phrases to express it.  It’s almost like we’ve been let in on a secret between the two on-screen lovers. Here are some of the greatest ways that Hollywood says, “I love you” without actually using those three little words.

1. “As you wish” —The Princess Bride

princessbrideThe Gold standard. Wesley coins this phrase as Buttercup’s farm boy as a way to express his love for her when she orders him around. Don’t all great romances begin with women tormenting the men they love? It are these words that bring her to realize later in the movie that the feared Dread Pirate Roberts is really her true love (because we totally couldn’t tell it was him behind that strip of black fabric). Their love is so innocent and pure and we will always root for them.

2. “You make me want to be a better man” —As Good As It Gets

asgoodThere is something about a bad guy reformed by a good woman that makes me go to mush and Jack is the perpetual hound dog. When his OCD-plagued character is inspired by Helen Hunt’s no nonsense kindness, we can’t help but be softened by his evolution. Their romance doesn’t make sense and it defies any sort of convention but it’s the perfect example of the transformative power of love. Melvin gives us glimpses of decency along the way but always reverts back to his selfish ways. It isn’t until he speaks these words that we are fully convinced as an audience that he will continue to strive to be the man that Carol deserves. And don’t we all have room for improvement? We should all be so lucky to have someone in our lives that motivates us to be the best possible version of ourself. We are all just works in progress after all.

3. “I know” —Star Wars

starwarsAfter sharing a passionate kiss, Leia proclaims her love for Han Solo before he is frozen in carbonite. The generic response would have been an “I love you too” but that’s not Han’s style. Instead he retorts, “I know” in perfect Han Solo fashion…cool but still heartfelt. This response was improvised by Harrison Ford on set and everyone knew it was the perfect fit for Leia and Han’s dynamic. I just love them and their combative flirtations, there’s no way that things are boring in the bedroom with these two.

4. “Here’s looking at you kid”—Casablanca

casablancI just can’t with Humphrey. Why can’t she stay with him??!! Just kidding, I know it has end that way but it doesn’t make it any less heart wrenching. He has to let her go for her own safety in the precarious circumstances. What is the old saying? If you love something, let it go. He doesn’t want to make a fuss because he doesn’t want to lose his nerve and he has to stay strong for the both of them. He keeps it short and sweet and ends with these simple but endearing words. I don’t think the line would have had half of its effect without Bogart’s charismatic delivery.

5. “I’ll never let go” —Titanic 

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Except for when she does let go and he dies. Ha, no but we all know that Rose means she’ll never let go of him in her heart. Even though she DOES let go of the necklace aka the “heart of the ocean” which is infuriating. (She could have at LEAST sold it and donated the money to a good cause). And before you go into a tirade about how Jack could have fit on the door too…he couldn’t have…I watched a Mythbusters episode about it. So there. But for real I saw Titanic in the theaters 4 times and even though I cry harder at other scenes, this one will always produce a tear or two as well. Due greatly in part to James Horner’s haunting movie score. RIP, Mr. Horner.

6. “You complete me” —Jerry Maguire

jerryThe buildup to this line is when Jerry is reveling in his moment of glory but then realizes that the one person he wants to share it with isn’t by his side. And isn’t that a huge part of what love is about? Having someone to share in your victories and failures? I think so. We all have to relish in life happy moments, because as we all know, we live in a cynical, cynical world. (I had to). My favorite part about this exchange is that it shows the forgiving nature of women. She didn’t need the whole speech from him, she just needed him to show up for her. Plain and simple.

7. “I wish I knew how to quit you” —Brokeback Mountain

brokebackUgh, gets me every time. You can truly feel Ennis’ torment in this scene and Jack’s frustration with him. Keeping their relationship a secret takes a very real toll on their relationship although it manifests itself in different ways with each of them. As much as they wish they could lead normal lives together, it’s not in the cards for them. It doesn’t make the magnetism that brings them together any less strong, if anything it intensifies it. The passion they feel for each other is so strong it really can’t be explained rationally.

8. “I lurve you”—Annie Hall

annie hallThis scene might be the quintessential Woody Allen scene. It takes place beneath the Brooklyn Bridge and showcases some of his best witty bumbling. The line “love isn’t strong enough a word” before he begins to make up new words for love is classic. I think many of us have felt love so intensely that we have trouble properly describing it. I call it the blues look bluer and pinks look pinker syndrome because everything around you just seems better somehow when you’re in love.

9. “Ditto”—Ghost

ghostYou knew this one was coming. It kind of speaks for itself…their love is so strong it transcends the earthly realm. And they can convey more sentiment with just one word then with all the love sonnets in all the books. Sometimes simple trumps frills. Cue “Unchained Melody”…

10. “Hondo”—The History of Future Folk

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I wanted to include a lesser known title in here. If you haven’t seen The History of Future Folk then drop everything and Netflix it. It’s so funny and heart warming, you guys. It’s described as “the possibly exaggerated origin story of the real life alien bluegrass band, Future Folk, that has been playing for NYC audiences for the better part of a decade”. If that description doesn’t sell you on it or at least intrigue you then get out of here. Hondo is the traditional greeting of Hondonians (a race from outer space) but you will come to see it means much more in the movie. I’ve included my favorite song from the movie below. The other songs in the film are much funnier but seeing as this is a love centered post I thought this was more fitting. Until next time, I love you all. HONDO!

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MAD MAX: FURY ROAD. HELL YES. (5 REASONS I LOVED IT)

No movie you’ve ever seen before looks and feels like Mad Max: Fury Road. It’s always satisfying when you have high hopes for a movie and the movie-going experience not only delivers but exceeds your expectations. I know people complain about reboots/sequels/prequels but when these projects result in movies as awesome Mad Max: Fury Road…who cares?! Keep ’em coming, we are in a golden age for Fantasy/Sci-fi film. Here are 5 reasons I LOVED it:

5.) Entertainment/Wow factor

thmmIf you can make what is essentially a 2 hour car chase continually engaging and entertaining, then I think you’ve accomplished something pretty special in filmmaking. The George Miller directed action flick is a non-stop thrill ride from start to finish and I was holding onto my Diet Coke for dear life the whole time. It is visually stunning, the stunts and acrobatics are jaw-dropping and it still manages to engage your emotions. Viewers will have only have to wait a couple minutes after the movie begins for the first car chase–dialogue is sparse but the little dialogue that is spoken carries significant weight. No romantic storyline, no unnecessary plot devices. It’s just a fast-paced, twisted action ride that will have you fist-pumping on the inside.

2.) Groundbreaking CG

ssFirst of all, see this in 3D and 3D IMAX if possible. There is so much amazing CG work on Mad Max it is hard to fathom. It is a veritable feast for the senses. In the theater, when I saw the wall of the sand storm approach, all I could do was just shake my head in awe. That whole scene in storm is sure to go down as one of the greatest action sequences of all time. When CG is done on a scale as tremendous as that and executed so well…you can’t help but get lost in it. I’ve honestly never seen anything like it, so cool.

  3.) Feminism

kneelA violent and seemingly lawless patriarchy presides over this futuristic wasteland, led by the ruthless Immortan Joe. He not only controls scarce resources but controls women by pumping the older women for their nourishing milk and impregnating the younger ones to make further offspring. Furiosa (Charlize Theron), a female truck-driver and warrior, escapes with  Immortan Joe’s “breeders” who are essentially female sex slaves. When we catch our first glimpse of these women onscreen, they are decked out in muslin dresses in light neutral colors giving them an almost virginal and ethereal aura. Furiosa is every bit as capable as any male protagonist and her character has been likened to Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley from Alien.

4. Badass Characters

IJMad Max’s world is fire and blood where his only motive is to survive. He can’t comprehend hope but he wants to eradicate the demons of his past that haunt him by seeking redemption. For him, redemption means “a selfless act that stops the unbidden memories.” He is ferocious and unpredictable. Furiosa on the other hand, has a purpose and a plan–to reach the “Green Place”. They are both equally as badass but they need each other to survive their trek. Immortan Joe is an epic villain that will go down in the history books and I also highly enjoyed Nux, the feisty but ill-fated warboy. Plenty of skilled and courageous characters to go around in this film, many of whom blur the line between hero/anti-hero.

1. The dude playing the flame-thrower guitar in Immortan Joe’s war car entourage. ‘Nuff said:

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NETFLIX: 15 Hidden Gems and May Release Dates

Netflix can be a tricky landscape to navigate. Their “new releases” are stale at best and their film library is limited due to the high cost of rights to content. The same movies have a habit of popping up in my “suggestions for you” queue and often times I’ve already seen them. I realize that I watch more movies/television series than most but I still think this is a problem lots of subscribers encounter. After you’ve filtered through the mainstream movies and back episodes of your favorite shows, what’s next? I wanted to offer up some hidden gems I’ve found in the depths of Netflix and also share some upcoming release dates for new material on the streaming service.  I’ve excluded Netflix’s original series which will be examined in a future post. Here are some selections that are a little more off the beaten path:

THE WAY (2003)

theway If you are in the mood for an uplifting and inspirational film, The Way is your ticket to a mini spiritual awakening. Martin Sheen stars as a grieving doctor whose son was killed on El Camino de Santiago (a pilgrimage on foot from France to Santiago de Compostela, Spain). Sheen plays a disenchanted workaholic who decides to honor his son’s memory by completing the journey for him. He takes up with an eclectic band of fellow travelers along the way—each person has their own motivations for completing the voyage but all of them are transformed by the comradery and experiences they share. The film can’t help but cause one to be introspective and self-reflective in the best of ways. The breathtaking european scenery is an added bonus.

TROLLHUNTER (2010)

troll_hunter This dark Norwegian fantasy/thriller was made in the “found footage/mockumentary” style made popular by films such as The Blair Witch Project (but with a much higher production value). It has become a cult favorite and it is a joyride from start to finish. Three student filmmakers set off to investigate some recent bear poaching incidents. Instead, what they uncover is a secret government operation to hunt down trolls in the Norwegian wilderness led by Otto Jespersen. The adventures that ensue are graphic, often comical and vastly entertaining.

BROADCHURCH (2014)

broadchurch This critically acclaimed British crime television series hits the ground running from the first episode. It centers on two detectives and the investigation of the murder of an 11 year old boy in a sleepy coastal town. Things are not what they seem and there are a fair abundance of twists in this mystery. Beyond the murder itself, the show’s examination of the town’s residents and the small town dynamics are multi-layered and intriguing, reminiscent of David Lynch’s classic show Twin Peaks. It’s not on this list but Top of the Lake is another excellent television mystery series worth streaming.

BROKEN FLOWERS (2005)

brokenfllowers An indie flick starring Bill Murray should be all you need to know about this one. Murray stars as Don Johnston, an aging lothario who receives an anonymous letter informing him he has fathered an adult son who may now be searching for him. With the prodding of his neighbor, he embarks on a cross-country journey to track down past loves and perhaps solve the mystery. His exes are played by the likes of Sharon Stone, Tilda Swinton and Jessica Lange. These encounters take Don on a journey of self discovery, often with comedic results. Murray’s trademark wit is at its best here but with a deeper softer side that makes this film especially worthwhile.

SAMSARA (2011)

China Spectacular Filmed in over 25 countries over the span of 5 years, this documentary is a cornucopia of visual delight and an examination of human existence. It is a collection of expertly filmed shots of sacred sites, nature, industry and more–all set to music (no words, crazy I know but it’s about the visual and emotional response).  If you live in a state where it is legal, I miiiiight recommend indulging in some “recreational” activities before viewing. This film is truly an experience and if you have the attention span for it, it’s definitely worth the watch. It’s just overwhelmingly beautiful, I can honestly say that it moved me.

I GIVE IT A YEAR (2013)

i-give-it-a-year So this film is mostly just light-hearted romantic fluff, but hey, we all need some of that from time to time right? I was honestly just looking to watch something mindless when I stumbled across this film and was so pleasantly surprised. There are plenty of dumb moments in this rom-com but there are definitely plenty of laugh out loud moments as well. It follows a newlywed couple who start out blissful but may not be able to survive the trials of their first year of marriage. Rose Byrne (of Bridesmaids fame) is always beautiful onscreen and I always find Stephen Merchant so underrated as well. Perfect for a friday night in with takeout.

HEARTBURN (1986)

heartburn When I found Heartburn, I was mostly just pissed I never knew a film starring both Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep existed…and a Nora Ephron film at that! Blasphemy. After I got over that fact, I settled into this drama-filled tale full of brutal honesty. Nicholson and Streep both play successful career-minded individuals who try and fit the mold of what happily ever after is. It turns out, nothing is ever as happy as it may seem. Heartbreak and betrayal are examined and the pain that comes between deciding to pick up the pieces or move on from a relationship. I enjoyed the candidness and honesty of this film. While it may inspire you to never get married, it will also inspire you to make spaghetti carbonara for your lover at 4 in the morning. Perhaps the only time I haven’t enjoyed watching good ‘ole Jack play a low-down dirty dog though—nobody messes with my Meryl!

PERFECT SENSE (2011)

perfectsense Ok, so I may be guilty of watching anything that has Eva Green in it, I’ve had a lady crush on her since she played Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale. However, it was the premise of this film that truly roped me in. Green and Ewan McGregor play a doctor and a chef who fall in love as an epidemic spreads across the planet robbing humans of their sense of smell. At first isolated events, soon everyone becomes infected. Then with increasing speed, more outbreaks occur, each one taking another sense away from the earth’s population. I found this concept absolutely terrifying and that’s how the chaos plays out onscreen. The pair are an example of what we as human beings cling to when faced with losing our ability to perceive the world and our surroundings. I shudder to think.

THE TRIP TO ITALY (2014)

trip-italy-618 Both The Trip to Italy and its predecessor, The Trip are brilliant works of comedy. I just happened to enjoy the second film a little more, along with the gorgeous Italian scenery. The film follows two friends/rivals eating and drinking their way through Italy whilst engaging in the wittiest of banter. It sounds so simple but it is so rich with fantastic dialogue and surprisingly poignant moments concerning both men’s personal and prosessional lives.  It will leave you practicing your Michael Caine impression and giggling for days to come.

A SINGLE MAN (2009)

singleman I first saw this film at an independent theater. I loved it then and I love it now. Directed by Tom Ford, this film unsurprisingly oozes style. After a slow start, it dives into the examination of a gay English professor (played by Colin Firth) in 1960s LA struggling to cope with the death of his lover a year earlier. We start following him on what is a seemingly normal day, but we later realize he is planning his own suicide that evening. It is his interactions with various characters throughout this day that bring him to some new realizations. Firth’s haunting and effortless performance is the obvious highlight of this elegant film. Side note for the ladies: you will die over the makeup artistry in this movie.

THE GIANT MECHANICAL MAN (2012)

giantmechanical I have a soft spot for indie romantic movies. I think it’s because the characters are often flawed and the love stories feel less forced. Such is the case with this gem which stars Pam from the Office (ok fine, Jenna Fischer) and Chris Messina. Both of them are down on their luck and searching for someone who truly understands them. Messina works as a “living statue” and is disillusioned with society and its misguided values. They finally find kindred souls within one another but will they be able to survive societal and external pressure? I’m a big fan of emotional awkwardness onscreen (even if it makes me cringe) and this film is full of it.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS (2014)

happy christmas I just love Anna Kendrick’s character in this movie, she is an absolute train wreck. And isn’t it always fun to watch a train wreck onscreen because it makes us all feel better about our own lives? Kendrick plays Jenny, a 20 something party girl who moves in with her brother and his family after a bad break-up. This obviously causes some friction within the home. The best scenes in this movie are between Kendrick and Melanie Lynsky, who plays her sister-in-law. Kendrick’s carefree spontaneous attitude help Lynsky to come out of her well-preserved shell. Other highlights include Jenny’s uncomfortable hook-ups with her pot-dealng boy toy and her funny repartee with her sassy friend (played by Lena Dunham).

HOUSEBOAT (1958)

houseboat I find it sad that more young people don’t watch or enjoy classic movies. If you haven’t seen it, Houseboat it is a great place to start. I often like to revisit classic films when I’m feeling disenchanted with life and need an injection of innocence. Sophia Loren has never been more alluring and Cary Grant turns on his signature stubborn charm. Sophia stars as a bored rich girl looking to assert her independence and she finds that opportunity taking on a nanny position with a widower and his three children aboard a run-down houseboat. The film explores the complexities of parenthood and love and how often the thing we need the most comes into our lives in unexpected packages.

ALL GOOD THINGS (2010)

allgood i re-watched this film after watching HBO’s The Jinx (the film is loosely based on the Robert Durst story). If you can get past the fact that Ryan Gosling has never looked worse, this film is full of mystery and deception. Gosling plays David Marks, who was suspected of killing his wife (played by Kirsten Dunst) but was never put on trial for it. The film begins with their meeting and courtship and then later, her disappearance. Their marriage experiences difficulties due to differences in their backgrounds and upbringings. You can feel Dunst’s pain as she realizes that her husband has become someone completely different than the man she married. Years later, David is on trial for a separate murder and reveals more details complicating the mystery. Both the character of David Marks and the real life Robert Durst are enigmatic forces whose motives may never be understood but it sure makes for an intriguing film.

PERFUME: THE STORY OF A MURDERER (2006)

perfume I love the twisted motive of the main character and serial killer, Jean Baptiste, in Perfume. Born with an unearthly gift to discern scent in 18th century France, he becomes obsessed with trying to capture the true essence of beauty in perfume form. After he figures out how to capture the elixir of a young beautiful woman, his obsession turns murderous and he begins stalking and murdering women in France to add to his collection of perfumes in order to create the ultimate scent. (fun fact: they are all gingers!) He becomes particularly infatuated with one such young aristocratic beauty who will be the final addition and crown jewel to his perfume (the heart of the perfume if you will). Her overprotective father is played by a kind Alan Rickman who has the city on high alert due to the recent murders. The film has dark and brooding undertones but is also able to successfully depict the allure of beauty where many films miss the mark. This movie comes alive on screen and really does involve all your senses— it’s musical score is beautiful and also a bit eerie. Random bonus: it contains probably the largest sex scenes I have ever seen.

 MAY RELEASES ON NETFLIX

Available May 1 Beyond Clueless (2014) Jimi: All Is by My Side (2013) Legally Blonde (2001) Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003) Longmire: Season 3 No No: A Dockumentary (2014) Shameless: Series 10 The Last Waltz (1978) The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (2005) Underclassman (2015) Witnesses: Season 1 Available May 2 Lalaloopsy: Festival of Sugary Sweets (2015) LeapFrog Letter Factory Adventures: Amazing Word Explorers (2015) Available May 3 Anita (2013) D.L. Hughley: Clear (2014) Royal Pains: Season 6 Available May 5 A Few Best Men (2011) Available May 6 The Longest Week (2014) Available May 8 Grace & Frankie Puss in Boots: Season 1 (5 additional episodes) Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (2013) Available May 9 Jinn (2014) The Liberator (2013) Available May 12 Extraterrestrial (2014) Fruitvale Station (2013) Magical Universe (2013) Available May 13 The Identical (2014) Available May 14 American Restoration (new collection) Counting Cars (new collection) Dance Moms (new collection) Duck Dynasty (new collection) Hoarders (new collection) Modern Marvels (new collection) The Universe (new collection) Available May 15 Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown: Season 4 Cyber­Seniors (2014) Dawg Fight (2015) Give Me Shelter (2014) Granite Flats: Season 1­-3 Available May 16 First Period (2013) Available May 17 Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast (2015) Available May 19 Before I Disappear (2014) Girlhood (2014) Zombeavers (2014) Available May 21 Between: Season 1 Available May 22 H20 Mermaid Adventures (2015) Inglourious Basterds (2009) Jen Kirkman: I’m Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine) (2015) Richie Rich: Season 2 The Other One: The Long, Strange Trip of Bob Weir Transporter: The Series: Season 1 (2012) Available May 23 Antarctica: A Year on Ice (2013) The Boxtrolls (2014) Available May 24 Love and Honor (2013) Welcome to the Punch (2013) Available May 26 Graceland: Seasons 1­-2 Available May 27 Before I Go to Sleep (2014) Available May 29 Hot Girls Wanted (2015) Mako Mermaids Season 3 HAPPY NETFLIXING, Y’ALL!

Live Blog: Game of Thrones Season 5 Premiere

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I decided to live blog the premiere episode, “The Wars to Come”. Just a little one time thing for the special occasion.

Pre-thoughts: God I hope they kill Sansa, she’s so boring. I hope Jaime Lannister and Daenerys get lots of screen time and maybe we will finally get to see Dorne!

Opening Credits: I always love these credits and how they switch it up depending on the areas of Westeros that are going to be featured in the episode. I hate the Eyrie. Oh hello, Pentos.

5:00–who are these little chicks? The blonde one seems evil…she has an older lady head on a child’s body (but excellent hair)

9:00–AH, it was a Cersei flashback, I knew she seemed evil. Adult Cersei’s rope braid is killing it

10:15–yessssss Jaime. Hopefully it’s not going to be another creepy Cersei/Jaime dead body scene though

11:30–oh nope Cersei is definitely not happy with him. The painted on eyes on Tywin’s dead body aren’t creepy at all

12:50–Oof Tyrion arriving in Pentos looking a little worse for the wear. #cratetraveling

13:44—first “F” bomb

14:35–Tyrion’s first sip of wine, clearly he’s still a fan

15:30–Woof. wine does not seem to be a fan of him anymore….apparently the “puke and rally” exists in the realm

16:30–man they love tearing down monuments in Meereen…and we have our first boobage of the season

18:00–An unsullied orders his “usual” at a brothel which is apparently a topless lullaby….aaaaand he’s dead via throat slicing

19:00–Daenerys looks beautiful (duh). I’m very intrigued by these “Sons of Harpy” assassins, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last  of them

21:00–yay Jon Snow…we are getting to see all the good people quickly, I’m glad.

22:00–did Sam lose weight? He’s doing something better…maybe his hair?

23:15–of course the red lady isn’t cold at the wall…crazy fire sorceress—I wish I never got cold

25:15—Interesting plot by “King” Baratheon to use the wildlings to take Winterfell.

26:00–ugh, Sansa…she looks even worse than last season. She’s like the human equivalent of a brick wall

27:00–Robin is such a wussy

28:00–awwww, Brienne is so mean to her squire…her mission has hardened her. She’ll get her purpose back soon, I’m sure of it. Still obsessed with the name “Oathkeeper” for a sword

29:15—your voice is annoying, Sansa

29:50—Margaery is such a hussy…but a smart, calculated, well-dressed hussy. She could learn a thing or two about boundaries though

34:40–“everyone knows everything about everyone”–Oliver commentating on King’s Landing gossip. But do they? Me thinks not.

35:20–Pentos is my fav, I want to go to there (probs Croatia)

36:40–This scene with Tyrion and Varys is the best scene so far

38:05– “who said anything about HIM?”–Varys. Damn straight…Daenerys for prez! Looks like it’s a sea trip for my new fav duo

39:05–this guy talking to Daenerys kind of looks like Lionel Richie

40:10–nice butt, dude who gets to sleep with Daenerys (can’t remember his name). This guy isn’t the best actor though. Daenerys is going to have to let go of some of her stubbornness.

42:40—going into the dragon’s lair, yaaaasssssssss.

43:55–dang girl, you’re going to have to get a grip on those fire-breathers (although the special effects on the dragons are looking better than ever). No surprise they are angry after being locked up. I miss Drogon 😦

46:45–Mance Rayder, grow some balls

47:00–lemme guess, it was the red lady’s idea to burn him alive…shocking

50:00–there’s no way he’s going to kneel

52:00–Melisandre’s choker game is strong

53:00–fuck burning at the stake doesn’t look like a good way to go

53:10—Jon can’t bear to watch! Sam is such a good comforter, no surprise there

53:26–heck yeah, Jon Snow coming in hot with the mercy arrow #likeaboss. He’s so noble buuuuttttt that’s going to cause some problems

Solid episode, what did you think? I got to see most of the characters that I wanted to and there was a lot of good groundwork laid for future episodes. Looking forward to another season full of violence, sex, intrigue, politics, dragons and surprises. Next week: Arya, Dorne and DROGON!

30 Movie Characters That Need to be Emojis

I used to think that naming OPI nail polishes was my true calling but I think I’ve found something even better—designing movie character emojis. How great would it be to have these movie character emojis at your fingertips? I definitely wouldn’t mind having these in my text arsenal…and while we are at it, can we finally have a unicorn and mermaid emoji too?!

Editor’s note: Star Wars and Disney characters not included because they all should have emojis obviously.

Contribution credit: Sienna Quirk

30. GROOT…and baby Groot. ‘Cause we are Groot.

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29. EDWARD SCISSORHANDS. So misunderstood

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28. TONY MONTANA. For when shit is getting real

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27. ACE VENTURA. for those slap-happy/wacky moments.

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26. WILLIAM WALLACE. FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMMM

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25. GOLLUM. My precious…

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24. WILSON THE VOLLEYBALL. BFFs for life

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23. ET. ET phone home

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22. Forrest Gump. For life pondering moments

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21. ROCKY. In moments of victory

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20. HARRY POTTER. When something can only be described as magical

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19. MAXIMUS. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And he WILL have his vengeance…in this life or the next

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18. PINK PANTHER. For stalking/sleuthing situations

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17. HOLLY GOLIGHTLY. Girl’s night! #fancy

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16. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE. Preferably dancing.

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15. THE BRIDE from KILL BILL. For when you need to open a can of whoop-ass

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14. RON BURGUNDY. Scotch, scotch scotch…into my belly.

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13. THE DUDE (white russian included). The Dude abides

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12. NEO.  Deja vu/surreal expériences

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11. LLOYD and HARRY. Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

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10. V. Remember remember the 5th of November

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9. THE TERMINATOR. I’ll be back/Hasta la vista, baby

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8. GIZMO the mogwai. ’cause he’s ADORABLE

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7. JAMES BOND. spy/lethario/gambling scenarios

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6. HANNIBAL LECTER (with face mask). Stage five creeper

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5. GHOSTBUSTERS. Who ya gonna call

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4. JACK TORRANCE. Heeeeeeere’s Jooohnny!!!

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3. JESSICA RABBIT. On fleek.

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2. INDIANA JONES. When you’re feeling adventurous but also bookish

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1. MERYL STREEP VARIETY PACK. Because we need a Meryl for every occasion

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‘Going Clear’ Lifts the Veil on Scientology

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160.

That’s the number of lawyers that HBO hired when it decided to air Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief, and for good reason.

Scientology, founded by deceased science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard, is no stranger to controversy and has harshly retaliated against its critics in the past. This has not, however, silenced past members from speaking out against their previously held faith in the new HBO documentary Going Clear. The documentary spotlights their departure from the religion, including some of the church’s highest ranking members. In the film, they give accounts of their experience behind the carefully guarded doors of the church of Scientology. They describe signing BILLION year contracts to join SeaOrg, a branch of the church composed of its most dedicated members. They also make accusations of mental and physical abuse and tell tales of prison-like camps where members who exhibited defiant or deviant behavior were sent for rehabilitation.

The documentary paints Scientology not just as a religion but as a business, with people spending hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to climb the “bridge to total freedom” to achieve the highest rank of “clear” within the church. This is achieved through the practice of auditing, in which an E-Meter (like a crude lie detector test) is used to clear one’s mind of past traumas by divulging their deepest fears and secrets.  Once a member has obtained the level of clear they are allowed to read Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s secret writings. These writings unveil the church’s most sacred beliefs—how a galactic leader named Xenu sent millions of frozen souls on spacecrafts from his overpopulated planet (a place comparable to U.S. life in the 1950s) to the bases of volcanoes on Earth. The volcanoes were then hydrogen-bombed, dispersing reincarnated spiritual beings, or “thetans,” left to roam and enter human bodies as “containers” to inhabit. The thetans excess emotional baggage can haunt the human hosts, however, so it needs to be cleared out —hence, the auditing.

One of the more comedic moments of the documentary is when former members of Scientology recall their reactions to finally learning this information:

“WHAT?! What the fuck are you talking about?”—Paul Haggis, filmmaker and former member

“I studied geology in school, those volcanoes didn’t exist 75 million years ago,” —Hana Whitfield, former SeaOrg member

The Church of Scientology — worth billions of dollars — had been entangled in a long battle with the IRS until it was finally declared a non-profit religious organization in 1993 (making it tax-exempt). David Miscavige, who took over Scientology after Hubbard’s death, spearheaded this fight and has been Scientology’s Chairman of the Board since 1987. The documentary chronicles his rise to power and his borderline obsession with celebrity. It claims that Miscavige wanted to actively recruit celebrities in order to raise Scientology’s profile and spread its message. There is no mention of Shelly Miscavige (wife to David Miscagive) who hasn’t been seen publicly since 2006.

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Going Clear spends a lot of time focusing on the relationships the church has cultivated with its celebrity members, most notably Tom Cruise, who has claimed that the religion helped him overcome his dyslexia. Tom, who joined the church in the mid 80s, developed a close relationship with Miscavige from the onset. When Tom’s second wife, Nicole Kidman, started pulling Tom away from the church, a former member claims he was assigned to break them up and bring Tom back into the fold. After Cruise and Kidman ended their 11-year marriage, she was labeled a Suppressive Person (or SP). When someone is labeled an SP within the church or a member leaves the church, a policy of “disconnection” is followed, cutting off communication to their friends and family within the church.  The film also claims that a search for a new girlfriend was orchestrated by the higher ups of the organization.

While Scientology seems to have maintained their status for now through securing tax-free real estate around the world and the membership of stars such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta; it remains to be seen what the evolution of Scientology will look like in the future.

The church of Scientology has spoken out against the film stating that it’s “bigoted propaganda” and ”built on falsehoods invented by admitted liars.” You can read the full response here: http://www.freedommag.org/hbo/

PERSONAL THOUGHTS:  I’ve always been intrigued by the subject of Scientology. It is a successful religion that was created just 65 years ago by a science fiction author. That is mind-blowing to me. I have read snippets of Hubbard’s Dianetics and I can see why it was a best-seller. The concepts of self-improvement, building confidence and purging past traumas would aid anyone in becoming a better person. So who is to say that Scientology is not a religion if people really believe in it? Who is to say one belief system is better or more rational than another? Not me (and that is not saying I condone psychological or physiological abuse or other atrocities alleged by the film). I am merely making the point that I think you can find crazy aspects in any religion. I think quantum physicist Neil deGrasse Tyson said it best, “So, you have people who are certain that a man in a robe transforms a cracker into the literal body of Jesus saying that what goes on in Scientology is crazy?” It’s food for thought that’s for sure…oh and I’m an agnostic in case you were wondering.

End note: If you haven’t seen the video of Tom Cruise accepting a “Medal of Valor” at a Scientology celebration then whoa buddy you should do yourself a favor and press play. So strange:

TEN ACTORS WHO KILL IT PLAYING VILLAINS

v You all know them. You may not always recognize the actor’s name but you know if he or she shows up in a movie there’s bound to be some bunny-boiling trouble ahead. I started thinking about this sub-group of thespians and their deliciously evil characters. These are actors who have not just played one iconic villain but have perfected the craft of being bad in multiple roles. Keep in mind this is not a “best villains of all time list”, you will notice some obvious absences (Anthony “hello Clarice” Hopkins, Tom “insert Bane voice here” Hardy, Jack “here’s Johnny” Nicholson, Daniel “Bill the Butcher” Day-Lewis and Kathy “hobbling” Bates to name a few) but feel free to comment with those you feel should have been represented. So without further ado, I present to you some quintessential bad guys in no particular order:

10.) ALAN RICKMAN

snape Ok, ok…so Snape didn’t exactly turn out to be a villain in the Harry Potter books/movies but Mr. Rickman sure did a damn good job convincing us otherwise. Just look at that furrow in his brow, he could kill a fly in there. His velvety voice is saturated with the kind of intoxication that could only be born from evil. It oozes darkness. And who can forget his turn as the smarmy executive in Love Actually who toys with beginning an affair with his tawdry secretary. WHO MAKES EMMA THOMPSON CRY!? For real. He’s also played the russian villain Rasputin, Tybalt, and an extra rape-y Sheriff of Nottingham in 1991’s Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Oh yeah, and three more words for you: HANS. EFFING. GRUBER. He’s going to count to three…

P.S. Everything is forgiven because he plays the gentle and chivalrous Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility. #Willoughbysucks

9.) JEREMY IRONS

scar Dude. Homeboy orchestrated the saddest Disney moment of all time (in my opinion) when he let Mufasa fall to his death and ran Simba out of town. And his voice as Scar in The Lion King is just the tip of the iceberg. Have you ever caused the demise of a 12 year old girl’s mother and then began a torrid sexual affair that ends in tragedy with said 12 year old? No? Well Jeremy Irons did as Humbert in the 1997 adaptation of Lolita. Evil pope in The Borgias? Check. Evil hacienda owner in The House of Spirits? Check. Hans Gruber’s brother Simon in Die Hard: With a Vengeance? Check. You get the picture.

8.) TIM CURRY

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Yeah, it’s Pennywise time. I couldn’t sleep by myself for a week after seeing Stephen King’s IT for the first time at age 7. I didn’t even know it was Tim Curry under all that terrifying clown makeup for a long time. In the movie he personifies fear itself and indeed it is an incarnation not soon to be forgotten. But Mr. Curry’s villainous chops don’t stop there; he was disguised in makeup and prosthetics again when he played the horned monster, Darkness, in 1985’s Legend (Tom Cruise’s first movie and worth checking out to see his original teeth–yikes), the wife-beating Bill Sikes in Oliver, the delightfully witty but diabolical butler in Clue, and the evil lusty cardinal in The Three Musketeers (shout out to Sting, Brian Adams and Rod Stewart for the soundtrack gem “All for Love”). He’s also voiced many animated villains including the pollution blob monster, Hexxus, in Ferngully: The Last Rainforest (that one was for you, children of the 90s). It should be noted that Mr. Curry also portrayed Dr. Frank-N-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show but I think that’s categorized more under naughty than villainous.

7.) JAVIER BARDEM

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Descended from spanish film royalty, Javier Bardem is no stranger to the business and especially not the business of being bad. His performance as Silva in the Bond movie Skyfall was haunting and twisted (his face was even twisted). He plays a conflicted member of the Spanish Inquisition in Goya’s Ghosts and the drug lord, Felix, in Collateral. Perhaps his most defining role was that of the ruthless Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men. When a villain has such utter disregard for human life as illustrated in this role, they become killing machines. He’s also slated to play a villain in the latest installment of Pirates of the Caribbean opposite Johnny Depp.

6.) ANGELICA HUSTON

ah Time for the ladies to represent and one of the Grand Dames of villain town is none other than Ms. Angelica Houston. She has an air of elegance to her that can only be described as regal. (Side note: any woman who could put up with Jack Nicholson’s shenanigans for 17 years must be part magic). The villains she portrays are often of noble birth such as Rodmilla, the cruel stepmother, in Ever After: A Cinderella Story (I still can’t believe she sold the little old servant man, nothing made me cry tears of happiness more than when Drew Barrymore got him back). She can play a sexy tangoing villain you root for (Morticia in The Addams Family), a misunderstood villain (Viviane in The Mists of Avalon) and she’s played the ice queen in a couple of Wes Anderson flicks.  The apex of her villainous career would have to be as the Grand High Witch in the movie adaptation of Roald Dahl’s The Witches. When she removes her human-approved disguise to reveal her true form, 2nd graders wept everywhere. And who knows, maybe there really are people trapped in paintings…shudder.

5.) WILLEM DAFOE

wd Talk about a face made for villain-dom, Mr. Dafoe was chiseled to be a villain. No one has the maniacal smile/raised eyebrows down like him. For me the eerie smile registers somewhere between “I ate a cookie and I wasn’t supposed to” and “I for sure 100% have someone locked in my basement”. He is probably most recognizable for his role as the Green Goblin in Spider-man and most recently he played the alcoholic professional author/jerk Van Houten in The Fault in Our Stars but his career as a villain extends way beyond those roles. He played the leader of the Barillo drug cartel in Once Upon A Time in Mexico, the crazed kidnapper Raven in the cult-classic Streets of Fire and he also voices Gil in Finding Nemo ( not technically a villain but is still extremely sinister looking and has a dark past).

4. MALCOLM MCDOWELL

clock Movie villains love to have German, Russian or British accents. This British actor rose to fame wreaking havoc in a cod piece as the menacing sociopath Alex in Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange and hasn’t stopped since. Trust me, you don’t want to hear this guy’s version of “Singing in the Rain”, it’s not pretty. He’s also played Caligula, Satan and he even killed Captain Kirk in a Star Trek film. In TV he’s been featured in Tales from the Crypt and was the asshole who out ass-holed Ari as Terrence on Entourage.

3.) CHRISTOPH WALTZ

cw If the rest of the actors on this list kill it at being villains than Christoph Waltz kills it, cooks it, eats it and then tortures its eternal soul in hell. He is evil in whatever costume you put him in. There is a special place in hell for people who abuse animals like his character in Water for Elephants. He dropped jaws with his chilling performance in Inglorious Basterds when he assassinated the french jews hiding underneath his feet. He’s also played villains in The Green Hornet, The Three Musketeers and rumor has it he’s slated to be the next Bond villain…I approve.

2.) GLENN CLOSE

glenn And now we’ve come to the bunny-boiler herself, Ms. Glenn Close! Just looking at this picture creeps me out. I once read that Glenn Close is like Meryl Streep’s evil twin and I wholeheartedly agree (although Meryl makes a damn fine villain herself now and then…ahem, Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada). As they say, “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Fatal Attraction singlehandedly scared a whole generation of men to keep it in their pants when Michael Douglas’ character made the biggest “whoops” mistake of his life. As Alex, Glenn’s wild hair and flashing eyes only add to her aura of craziness; we are seeing a true psychopath at work here. Ms. Close’s characters often use sexual manipulation as a weapon as illustrated again in her scheming role as the Marquise de Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons (one of my favorite movies and the plot base for the movie Cruel Intentions). She is the puppet master in a game where the pawns don’t know they are being played. And let us not forget Ms. Close’s appearance as the demanding Cruella De Vil in the live action version of 101 Dalmations…she wants to make a fur coat out of puppies for pete’s sake. Cruella’s vanity makes her especially alarming to audiences–beware the materialistic fashionista! Ms. Close has also taken her turn as a television villain most recently in the show Damages.

1.) GARY OLDMAN

goGary Oldman creates masterpiece villains. In Bram Stoker’s Dracula, his backstory of lost love almost makes you root for the tormented monster. This is a villain skilled in the art of seduction and Oldman executes without disappointment. His portrayal of unhinged, pill-popping DEA agent, Norman Stanfield, was brilliant in The Professional. The rest of Oldman’s body of villainous work speaks for itself in volume and diversity. He plays Dreyfus, a rigid leader of a group of humans in Dawn of Planet of the Apes, the quirky Zorg in The Fifth Element, deformed child-molester Mason Verger in Hannibal, Carnegie in The Book of Eli and Ivan Korshunov in Air Force One. All hail the king of the villains.